Men & Fibromyalgia
ADAPTED BY FIBROMYALGIA SUPPORT N. IRELAND
For a long time now it has been considered that Fibromyalgia is primarily a 'women's disease' - at last that view is being recognised to be inaccurate in that many more men than was first thought have been having the symptoms and perhaps just not getting diagnosed as rapidly as the women. Although various studies have certainly shown women to be in the majority with the condition there are, as yet, no definitive reason why. Some of the studies have indicated that women may have a lower than normal testosterone level. Because they have much less to start with, a deficiency doesn't take long to have more obvious effects. However, whether this may also be the reason for men getting the diagnosis is a subject of hot debate and other research studies. Men sometimes have fewer obvious symptoms to begin with, but in some cases, may go on to develop a worse case of the condition - this may, in part, have something to do with the heavier psychosocial impact that a hidden disability has on the men - for them their job is not only their primary role in life but in many cases also their identity. To not only be ill, but to be ill with a condition that is hidden, not well understood or recognised and something that others talk about mostly in relation to women, can for many men be too much to deal with in any capacity. Although the guys may start off with fewer or less obvious symptoms many studies have shown that they can ultimately progress on to having much more serious problems at a later point, possibly through denial and stubbornness - a trait found in all FMS sufferers but perhaps more in some men (not all!). I think men in general have a lot more to contend with psychologically than the women in some respects primarily for those reasons outlined above. Because men tend not to be as open as women in sharing their difficulties in coping they tend to bottle up a lot of the frustration and anger at being 'hit' by such a frustrating condition and quite often even their partners won't be able to get them to open up - pride is the biggest male issue to contend with. Once you accept that you have a condition that yes, is hidden and isn't going to go away overnight but equally isn't going to cripple you or put you in a wheelchair, then you can look at things in a different perspective perhaps. Don't live your life through the eyes of others - you will never change bad attitudes and wrong opinions - instead concentrate on the positive things in your life whether that's your partner, children, hobbies and other interests and work on developing those areas further. There are a lot of resources out there you can tap into - you just have to decide what you want to do and then go and hunt out more info on it - phone the Supportline or email us if you can't get started for any reason. You might be amazed at some of the opportunities that are out there, especially in areas such as sport for example. Don't hold back from doing things you enjoy just because they may make your pain worse - it will often become worse through doing absolutely nothing, so the usual maxim applies - "You're going to be sore anyway, so you may as well be sore doing something you enjoy"!! And yes - this was written by a woman but I hope I've demonstrated that I can empathise with where you guys are at?!!
Romayne
A SPECIAL THANK YOU GOES OUT TO ROMAYNE FOR BEING SO HONEST AND TRUE ABOUT FIBRO AND IT'S EFFECTS ON MEN!